Part 2 - Expectations vs. Reality

Content Warning: Postpartum mental health, emotional distress

When I was pregnant, I skipped the chapters about postpartum mental health.

I skimmed the part about the “baby blues” and thought: That won’t be me.

How could it be? This was supposed to be the greatest time of my life.

What I didn’t understand then was that perinatal mood or anxiety disorders aren’t something you opt into… or out of. You don’t get to skip the chapters. You don’t get to decide that your brain and nervous system will cooperate just because you want them to or because they have in the past.

I thought I would be writing a glowing four‑month update. Rainbows. Ponies. A sense of freedom returning.

Instead, here we are…  still in the trenches.

Every day feels like a nonstop experiment…  new theories, new strategies, new troubleshooting. My mental capacity for problem‑solving is running out. I keep racking my brain every day for how to solve each issue and how to make progress forward. How to be the best mom I can be.

I polled over 100 mothers and asked which transition was hardest… going from no children to one, or adding more children… and the overwhelming majority said 0–1. 



That answer stuck with me, because this season isn’t just about learning a baby; it’s about becoming someone entirely new. Your body, your time, your relationships, and your sense of self all shift at once, with no warm-up. It helps explain why this transition can feel so destabilizing… This transition asks you to meet a baby’s needs while simultaneously becoming someone new yourself. Nothing about this adjustment is linear or predictable. Difficulty here isn’t a personal shortcoming; it’s a human response to a massive life shift.